Bad For You (Rocktown Ink Book 4) Read online

  Lila laughed and squealed in delight over the roar of the engine.

  I grinned and reached down, covering one of her hands, giving it a squeeze, and she tightened her arms around me, hugging me back.

  Right then, that moment, was the happiest in my entire life.

  I was in love with Lila Cooper.

  And there was no coming back from it, for either of us.

  I didn’t go far. I didn’t want Lila to get cold.

  I followed the track down to the lake and stopped the bike.

  Lila climbed off behind me.

  “Well?” I said as I did the same.

  She pulled the helmet off and beamed at me. “I loved it. No wonder you ride everywhere.”

  It was ridiculous how pleased that made me. I wanted her to love riding. Living by my own rules, riding, the Ramblers, was my life and I wanted Lila to be a part of that.

  “Come here, Bambi.”

  She flushed and came toward me. Christ, I was constantly hard when I was near her. I only had to think about her and my body reacted.

  “I’m glad you loved it.” I tugged her closer and cupped the back of her head.

  She pressed her hands to my chest. “When did you first get a bike?”

  “Been riding as long as I can remember. The old man started me young.”

  “Does he ride as well?”

  My gut gripped tight. “He’s a Rambler as well, different chapter, but yeah.” I didn’t want to talk about that asshole.

  “You must be close?”

  “Nah, we don’t talk if I can help it. Parted ways a long time ago.” A nice way of saying I hated the old fucker’s guts.

  “Oh.”

  I tucked her hair behind her ear. “How long have you ridden horses?” When we’d first met, she’d told me she loved to ride.

  She stared up at me in that way of hers, like she was seeing way too much, but she didn’t ask anymore and I was grateful for it. “Same as you, from when I was a kid.”

  Her hands slid up under my shirt, and I shivered. Lila was a mix of shy innocence and dangerous curiosity. There was some serious sass in there as well. She’d given me shit when I came back. Now she was touching me like I was hers, with no hesitation, and I fucking loved it.

  “Why do they call you Grifter?” she asked softly.

  I didn’t like talking about my past, but Lila was my woman and if I wanted to keep her, I needed to share some of this stuff with her. “We were with the club a lot growing up, family parties, gatherings, rallies, shit like that. The old man took me with him more often than not.” I grinned. “I learned quickly that when the guys were drunk, I could cheat them out of money. I’d come up with new angles to empty their wallets.” I chuckled. “One night I made five hundred bucks doing some lame-ass card trick. The drunk pricks couldn’t work out how I kept picking their card.”

  I didn’t share that the old man would disappear for weeks on club business, leaving us with nothing. My mom was too scared to show him up by asking the club for help, so I’d find ways to help. We’d needed money for rent—so we could eat.

  “How did you trick them?”

  “Found a big box of playing cards behind a warehouse. Stole it. I took all the five of clubs out and made a new deck. They never worked it out, not until I told them years later. I did a lot of shit like that. Someone came up with the name and it stuck.”

  She laughed. “You were an evil genius.”

  Christ, she was pretty when she laughed. “Yep. You hungry?”

  “You brought food?”

  I’d stopped by Lake’s End Café before I picked her up. “We can thank Addie for our lunch.”

  “Are we having a picnic?”

  Could she be any cuter? “Yeah, why not.”

  My phone rang and I wanted to ignore it, but I checked in case it was Stones. Ignoring the president was never a good call.

  It wasn’t Stones, though, it was the nursing home my mom was at. Shit. “Yeah?”

  “Hey, Jesse, it’s Corinne.”

  “She okay?”

  “She’s not doing too great. She’s been non-communicative for a couple of days. She didn’t eat at all yesterday. We just can’t get through to her.”

  My grip tightened on the phone. “I’ll be right there.”

  I loved my mom, but why now? Why did it have to be now? “We gotta leave, Bambi. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

  “What’s going on?” Worry etched her pretty face.

  “It’s my mom. I’ll explain later when we get there. Promise.”

  I climbed on the bike and she quickly slid on behind me. The care home was in Spring Haven, where Lila had grown up. She’d know the place as soon as we rolled up, and I didn’t have time to take her home first.

  Fuck.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lila

  I was cold and sore when we finally stopped. It was late afternoon and the warmth the sun had provided was now gone. Jesse’s jacket had done its job, but my legs and hands were like blocks of ice.

  The old house we were parked outside had been converted into a care nursing home fifteen years ago.

  Jesse’s expression was grim, resigned.

  “Your mom’s here?” I asked him gently. Whatever was going on, it clearly hurt him.

  “Yeah.” He took my hand and led me inside. There was a couch against the wall in the reception area and he motioned me toward it. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be. Will you wait for me here?”

  A million questions flew around my head, but I kept them to myself. There was no missing the stress lining his handsome face. I nodded and he strode down one of the long hallways.

  An hour later, and Jesse still wasn’t back.

  A woman headed my way, a small smile on her face. “Are you here to see someone, honey?”

  “I’m with a friend, Jesse Thomas.”

  Her phone beeped and she frowned, looking down at it. “I was just going to take him this, but I have to rush off.” She handed me a bottle of water. “Could you take this to him? He’ll need it.”

  “Um…I’m not sure…I don’t know…”

  “End of the hall, make a right, then all the way to the end. It’s the room on the left.” Then she hustled off in the opposite direction.

  I stood there, not sure what the heck to do. I frowned at the bottle in my hands, then glanced down the hall in front of me. Shoot. I didn’t want to intrude, but if the woman came back and I was still here with the water she’d think I was a jerk. With nothing else to do, I made my way down the hall.

  I made the right and paused when then soft strains of a guitar, a low voice, deep and smooth as velvet, reached me, singing “You’ll Think Of Me” by Keith Urban. My brain tried to reason away what I was hearing, but there was no mistaking who it was. I carried on, my heart racing faster the closer I got to the room. The door was open and I peeked around the corner.

  My heart lodged in my throat.

  Jesse sat with his back to me, an acoustic guitar on his lap. He was playing and singing. A woman who had to be his mom lay on her side in a bed, her eyes open, staring up at him, her gaze hollow, heartbreaking.

  I just stood there, not wanting to disturb and unable to tear my eyes away.

  I stayed while he finished the song and started another, this time “Wherever You Will Go” by The Calling. His voice was strong and smooth with a bit of a rasp to it that sent shivers down my spine.

  He kept on playing. “Here Without You” by 3 Doors Down was next.

  All the songs were older, not music I thought Jesse would’ve been in to, but he played them beautifully.

  I was intruding. I shouldn’t be here, but I didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t make myself walk away.

  When he played the opening to “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 I bit my lip. I loved that song.

  Jesse’s mom’s eyes closed, and you could tell by her breathing that she’d fallen asleep. Jesse kept playing until the song was finished, then he careful
ly leaned the guitar against her bedside table, careful not to bump the empty dinner plate on top, lifted the covers up around her neck, and brushed her hair back. He kissed her forehead, then grabbed the guitar again and stood.

  He turned and his eyes collided with mine. For a split second he froze, and then moved silently toward me, out to the hall, and shut the door behind him.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling awful. “A nurse told me to bring you this.” I held up the water bottle. “But then I got here and I didn’t want to intrude…and I couldn’t seem to walk away.” I chewed on my lip. “I’m so sorry, Jesse. I shouldn’t have watched you with your mother…I shouldn’t have…”

  He cupped my chin and tilted my head back. “It’s okay, Lila.” His voice was raspier than usual, and I handed him the drink. He cracked it open and drank half the bottle in one go, then smiled down at me. It didn’t reach his eyes, not like his smiles usually did. “My mom, she’s been in and out of places like this for as long as I can remember. She went through a tough time, never really recovered. Sometimes it gets really bad and she comes here. She stops communicating, doesn’t eat, barely sleeps. I come and play some of her favorite songs; it’s the only thing that seems to work.”

  There was nothing I could say to make it better for him. I didn’t want to spout clichéd crap, so I said what I was thinking. “You’re lovely, you know that?”

  “Lila,” he said roughly.

  “You also have an incredible voice. I was only five when ‘She Will Be Loved’ came out, but I loved it because Kate played it over and over. She’d been head over heels in love with Adam Levine, and I copied everything she did. You were better, and a whole lot sexier. I’m halfway to fan-girling all over right now.” I was only half teasing. I wanted that sad look out of his eyes. I also wanted to kiss the hell out of him.

  He blushed a little, something I’d never seen Jesse do, then leaned in and kissed the top of my head. “Come on.”

  His big hand gripped the back of my neck as we walked down the hall, the hold possessive, like I was his and he wanted everyone to know it.

  I glanced over at him. “What about your dad…does he…”

  “They’re not together anymore. The old man got sick of dealing with her and left us…it’s the only good thing that fucker ever did.”

  I wanted to question him more, but his expression was closed off.

  We reached the desk and he handed the guitar to the woman behind it, the one who’d given me the water to deliver.

  “How did it go? Did you get her to eat?”

  “Yeah, some dessert as well.”

  She gave him a warm smile, and he told her he’d be back soon, then led me out.

  He helped me with my helmet.

  “You’re a good son,” I said when his eyes met mine.

  “Nah, Bambi, just doing what anyone else would do.” He looked uncomfortable.

  “I’m not so sure about that. She’s lucky to have you.”

  We climbed on the bike and headed for home. I hugged him extra tight all the way.

  We finally pulled up in my small driveway and I climbed off. “You want to come in?” I asked when he walked me to my door.

  “Love to. But I think I better head home.” His big body was rigid and his jaw was tight. I hated that I didn’t know what to do, that he needed something that I obviously couldn’t give him.

  “Okay,” I said, not sure I hid my disappointment very well.

  He curled a strong arm around me, holding me so tight it almost hurt as he kissed me good night. I held him back just as tight.

  Finally, he let me go and walked back to his bike.

  “Your jacket,” I called quickly, undoing the one he’d put back on me for the ride home.

  “Keep it for next time,” he called back.

  Then he was on his bike and heading off down the street.

  I’d always known there was more to Jesse. I’d looked into his eyes and there’d been secrets, pain, so many things, and I’d wanted to know it all.

  Today I’d gotten a glimpse behind the good looks and easy humor. I liked what I saw, a lot.

  After he left I wandered around the house, feeling a little lost, and later when I went to bed I was too restless to sleep. I made tea, tried to watch some TV, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Jesse and that look in his eyes.

  He’d needed me.

  He’d needed more from me than I’d given him, and he didn’t think he could ask for it. I wanted to help him feel better. Take care of him. Take that pain away that I’d seen in his eyes. I was his girlfriend. It was my job.

  I was off the couch, my car keys in my hand a few moments later.

  Suddenly, taking things slow didn’t seem so important anymore.

  Jesse

  I walked out of the bathroom naked and hard after a shower. I ignored it and shoved on a pair of sweatpants.

  I’d wanted Lila so bad today, to the point I’d had to get the hell away from her before I begged her to let me eat her pussy. I should have jerked off in the shower, but that wasn’t what I wanted.

  It wasn’t just about a release, not anymore, it was about her. Being with her. I’d never felt like that before. Sex had always just been sex, and I knew being with Lila would be so much more than that. I craved it. Craved her.

  What I really wanted tonight was Lila under me. Her curvy, naked body pressed against mine afterwards. Her soft, round ass snugged against my cock all night so when we woke in the morning, I could slide right back inside her.

  I wanted Lila. I fucking needed her, but there was no way I was going to pressure her into something because I was feeling like an emo asshole after today. Which was why I left her place and not gone inside.

  I sat heavily on my bed and grabbed my guitar, strumming the opening chords to “Lyla” by Oasis. Yes, I was that pathetic. But playing had always been an escape for me. Evened me out, had made me focus on something other than the emotions rampaging through me. When I was a kid, it had been rage. I carried so much. Playing for my mom when she needed me, it didn’t just help her. It helped me as well. But it wasn’t working tonight.

  Only one thing would help.

  And she was across town, probably tucked up in bed fast asleep.

  My phone chirped. Shit, what now?

  I found my phone and checked the screen.

  Lila: You still up?

  A spot in the center of my chest warmed. She was worried about me. I’d seen it in her eyes. I loved and hated it at the same time.

  Jesse: Yeah, baby.

  I looked down at my dick straining the front of my sweatpants. Yeah, I’d been up for months because of her.

  Lila: Good, let me up.

  The fuck? I walked to the window and, sure enough, Lila stood on the street below. She waved up at me.

  I quickly jogged down the stairs to the shop and opened the door. My gaze ate up the sight of her in her buttoned-up, knee-length coat. “What’s going on? You okay?”

  She nodded and walked in. I closed and locked the door behind her. And when I turned back, the way she was looking at me made my heart beat a million miles a minute. “What’s going on?”

  Without a word, she took my hand and led me up the stairs to the apartment. I followed like a lost fucking lamb. I’d follow this girl anywhere.

  We walked into my temporary home and she turned to me. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she said as her hands went to my hips, her delicate fingers digging in, her pinkie dipping lower, beneath the waistband of my pants.

  “What are you doing, Bambi?” I didn’t know how I managed to get those words out, not when she tugged my pants lower.

  “You had a rough day. I’m going to make you feel better.”

  The way she looked up at me, innocent and sweet, I struggled to do the right thing. To say the right thing. “You don’t need to do that, Lila. We’re going at your pace, remember?”

  She stepped back, unbuttoning her coat, then let it drop. She w
as in the silky little pj’s I’d seen peeking out from under her pillow the night I’d been there for dinner. The tiny shorts were barely more than panties, and the top? Fuck. It strained against her full tits. No bra. Her nipples clear through the thin fabric.

  I tried to say something, anything. Instead, I made a wheezing sound or maybe whimpered? Fucked if I knew.

  “This is my pace,” she said and dropped to her knees in front of me. My breath caught in my throat when she tilted her head back, her eyes on mine as she tugged my sweats down lower still. “I want to taste you, Jesse.”

  My knees almost gave out. “You do?”

  She nodded, licking those sexy full lips again. “It’s all I can think about.”

  I sure as hell wasn’t a saint. I’d offered to slow things down. If Lila didn’t want that anymore, why would I say no? More to the point, how could I? I wanted her mouth on me so bad I could barely breathe.

  I widened my stance, since I was a lot taller than her, getting lower, and was happy I didn’t have on a shirt so nothing would get in the way of watching sweet little Lila wrap her mouth around my aching cock.

  This time, I was fully aware of what was going on, and I didn’t want to miss one moment.

  She made a humming sound in the back of her throat and pulled my pants down some more. My dick caught on the elastic, then sprang back so hard it slapped against my stomach. Lila’s little sound of surprise had me chuckling. The sound was low, rough, and dirty as hell.

  I threaded my fingers though her hair, needing something to ground myself, needing to touch her, and held my breath as she took my dick in her hand and leaned in. I had a decent cock, long, wide, but right now it had never looked so big. All bulging veins, glistening from the pre-come leaking in a constant stream.

  Her breath was hot on the fat head when she got closer. And then the tip of her pink tongue darted out, tasting me.

  “Fuck.” I fell back, leaning heavily against the door behind me.