Bad For You (Rocktown Ink Book 4) Read online

  I wasn’t going to let Grifter ruin my night. I was with my girls. I refused to think about him. I tipped my head back and finished my drink.

  I already felt much better.

  Eves shoved her drink at Dane, making him try it, and we all cracked up when he scrunched his face and shuddered in disgust. She grabbed his phone from his back pocket, tapped a few buttons, and the music pumping from his speaker changed. He shook his head, but his lips were twitching, gaze locked on her butt as Eves danced back to us.

  “I’m making more drinks,” Quinn said and headed back inside.

  Eves started dancing full out and we all joined her, laughing and singing and moving around the fire.

  Quinn made another awesome cocktail. This time something with bourbon and peach and it was delicious. I had three of those and felt even better. Nope, not thinking of a certain biker at all. I was heading into drunk territory and it felt good. I felt good. I really should do this more often.

  It was cold outside, but we only felt hot and sweaty from all the dancing.

  Eves was as drunk as me and tore her top off and tossed it aside. Doing a shimmy in her bra.

  We all yelled and tore our tops off as well and danced around the fire like a coven of witches casting a spell. We looked like wild women, hair sticking out, sweaty with flushed faces, dancing and laughing our asses off.

  A loud rumbling vibrated around the yard, louder than the music, and I glanced over to the garage.

  I almost tripped over my feet.

  Jesse. He was here.

  Still sitting on his bike, his gaze moved to us…to me, and he smiled wide. It was breathtaking.

  He climbed off his bike and walked over to Dane.

  Stop looking at him. Look the hell away, Lila.

  Dane handed him a beer and they stayed by the door, watching us, both grinning. Goddammit, why did Jesse have to be so sexy? Why couldn’t he have come back with a paunch and a wart on the end of his nose? It wasn’t fair.

  Then I remembered all the things he’d said to me earlier that day, the not so nice things. The way he’d thrown me away like I was nothing. And let’s not forget his gorgeous new girlfriend.

  I scowled, looking him right in the eyes and letting him see what I thought of the way he’d treated me, and turned my back on him.

  Why would the universe be so cruel and put such a pretty face on such a man-pig?

  Well, as far as I was concerned he wasn’t here. He didn’t exist.

  I grabbed my drink and swallowed it down. I would not let him ruin my night with my friends. Trixie grabbed my hand and spun me, laughing as we circled the fire. God, there was nothing like dancing. I wasn’t even good at it, but it was my favorite release.

  We drank more, swaying and spinning and surrendering to the rhythm surrounding us.

  But my gaze kept sliding to Jesse without my say-so. I could feel his stare on me as if it were caressing my curves, heating my skin with every touch. I was acutely aware of his presence as he and Dane watched us from a distance. Good—distance was good. We had nothing to say to each other.

  Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him head my way, looking determined. Nope. No way. Before I could run, Addie appeared at my side.

  She stood in front of me, bronze skin glowing in the firelight, dark brown eyes narrowed and aimed at Jesse, her hand up, warding him off. “Hey! Don’t you look at her!” she yelled at him. “You don’t get to talk to her again, not after the way you treated her this morning.”

  Jesse flinched, but he tried to get around her just the same. “Lila, can we… I just want to talk to you.”

  Eves joined us and Addie proceeded to repeat loudly how Jesse had been a dick to me in her café.

  Murder flared in Eves’s eyes. “Where the hell do you get off?” she growled, poking him in the chest repeatedly. “Haven’t you hurt her enough? You don’t get to come back and do it again, Riff.”

  His gaze sliced to me, and I wanted to dissolve. Eves meant well, but I was trying to be all hard and tough and cool, and she was throwing me under the bus, revealing way too much in her attempt to defend me.

  Trix and Quinn closed in as well, then Dane.

  I wanted to hide.

  My flight instincts kicked in and I bolted across the yard, somehow not falling on my face as I headed for the house.

  “Lila, shit. Wait,” Jesse called.

  The thump of his boots pounded after me. Eves yelled at him to leave me alone. Trix and Addie adding their two cents. I picked up the pace, running through the back door and straight to the bathroom. I shoved the door closed—

  His big hand caught it before it could close completely, and he stepped inside with me, then shut us in together and threw the lock.

  Crap.

  Chapter Six

  Jesse

  The lock clicking into place was loud in the small room.

  I turned, looking down at a scowling Lila. “Now, Bambi…”

  “Nope. No. Let me out. We have nothing to talk about.”

  I dragged my hand over my head and down my beard. “Yeah, we do.”

  “Well, I don’t want to talk to you.” She tried to take a step back, but there was nowhere to go.

  Everly banged on the bathroom door. “You okay, Lila?”

  “I’m fine. I’ll be right out,” Lila said, glaring at me.

  The banging stopped.

  “We’ll be right out here if you need us,” Eves said.

  I wanted to yell fuck off, badly, but being a dick to Dane’s girl, or any of Lila’s friends, would be a dumb move. Plus, I liked them, all of them. Unfortunately, right now they were getting in the way of me talking to my girl and it was pissing me off.

  She’s not your girl.

  Everly’s words from outside echoed through my head. “I hurt you when I left.”

  She lifted her chin and shoved her glasses up her nose. That simple, familiar gesture made me want to kiss her even more. The fact that she was in only her bra with her tight ass-hugging jeans wasn’t helping.

  “You didn’t. I’m fine. You did me a favor.”

  She was lying. “For fuck’s sake, can we talk about this?”

  She threw her hands up, making her tits—wrapped in only a scrap of purple lace—jiggle. It was distracting as hell. “What’s the point, Jesse?”

  It took every bit of my self-control not to touch her. Watching her dance around the bonfire, her sexy, curvy, little body moving, bouncing, jiggling, had nearly killed me. Could you die from a hard-on? I was starting to think you could.

  She crossed her arms, which only lifted her soft, full tits higher. My mouth watered at the sight of all that smooth, creamy flesh. The outline of her nipples was clear through her bra, and I wanted to bend forward and shove my face against those gorgeous soft mounds and stay there for the rest of my life.

  “Stop it,” she hissed.

  I glanced up at her. “What?”

  “Looking at me like that.” She colored, turning a pretty shade of pink that crept down her neck.

  “You’re standing there in a bra, Bambi, where the fuck else am I going to look?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re so full of it. You certainly didn’t have trouble resisting my boobs the last time you saw them.”

  I didn’t like remembering that night, what little I could remember of it, which wasn’t much. “I was wasted.”

  She smiled, and there was no joy, no humor in it. “That’s right, you thought I was someone else.”

  “I apologized for that.”

  “Oh well, that’s okay, then.”

  I growled under my breath. She had me in fucking knots. No one got to me like she did. Hell, no one talked to me like she did. No one would dare. Lila could do whatever the hell she liked. I was putty in her pretty hands. “Look, this morning, I was a prick. I don’t know why. I just…I hadn’t expected to see you.”

  “That makes absolutely no sense,” she said.

  She was right, but I wasn�
��t going to tell her I was jealous, that after seeing her with Brooks I’d barely thought of anything else. “No, we aren’t together, but you cut me off, babe. Like I didn’t fucking exist.” Something else that fucking stung. “I didn’t like it,” I added, telling her the truth.

  “You didn’t like it?” she whispered.

  I knew I’d said something wrong because her eyes went kind of wild.

  She pointed at me. “I refused to let you use me as an emotional…fluffer, and you didn’t like it? So you thought the correct response to that was to insult me? To try to make me feel small and pathetic, like we were in the freaking schoolyard?”

  Emotional fluffer? What the fuck? “No, hang on, Bambi…”

  “No, Jesse. Just, no. None of what you’re saying is okay. You’re right about one thing, though, I don’t just jump into bed with anyone. Yes, I asked you to take things slow with me when we first met, but that was because you’re kind of intimidating. Being with you was…overwhelming. But I’m not some goddamned prude. I’m as sexual as the next person. And you’ve made it crystal clear I’m not your type, that the big bad biker can do a whole lot better. You don’t need to say any more. And you sure as hell don’t need to throw it back in my face, okay?”

  “What the fuck, Lila? And what the hell do you mean, I can do better?”

  She said nothing, just stared up at me with big, hurt, angry eyes.

  I grabbed her waist, the side of her slender throat, pulling her closer, brushing my thumb over her smooth skin. I needed to get across to her that she was wrong. And fuck it, I wanted to touch her as well. “You think I didn’t want you? Christ, you have no idea. None. Fuck, Lila, I still want you, I…”

  “Bullshit.” She shoved at my chest. “Don’t you dare… Don’t play with me, you selfish son of a bitch.”

  I stared down at her stunned. “I’m not doing that, I would never…”

  “I know exactly what you’re doing.”

  She had me fucking stuttering, brain scrambled. I bested everyone I fought in the ring. My club brothers, our enemies, they didn’t mess with me. Some were openly afraid of me. And here was Lila, raining her anger down on me, putting me in my place and not giving one shit.

  She shoved again, and I stepped back, speechless. Definitely a first for me.

  “I don’t trust easy.” Her eyes locked on mine. “But I trusted you, Jesse. For some stupid reason, I trusted you, and you threw it back in my face. I can’t…” She backed away. “I can’t do this with you. Just, I need you to leave me alone.”

  Then she slammed the lock back and rushed out, leaving me standing there like an asshole. Eves stood there watching me, the others had gone after Lila.

  “Your girl handed me my ass,” I said to Everly. “Happy?”

  She shook her head, then she stormed off as well.

  I paced Dane’s old apartment above Rocktown Ink.

  It was late, dark, cold outside, but I always ran hot. I yanked my shirt off and tossed it aside. Didn’t help that I couldn’t get Lila out of my head. Or what she’d said to me in that bathroom three nights ago.

  Emotional fluffer? What even was that?

  I gave in, pulled my phone out of my back pocket, and googled it.

  Emotional fluffer: Friends with emotional benefits. A boyfriend or girlfriend without the rewards. Generally, a guy/girl friend is used for the emotional benefit in the relationship, while the physical benefit is being taken care of by another guy/girl.

  What the fuck?

  Why would she think that? Is that what I’d been doing? I definitely hadn’t been getting physical benefits from anyone else. I dragged my hand over my hair and growled. No, she was wrong. I liked talking to her. I’d missed her. That’s all. I wasn’t using her.

  As for me thinking I could do better than her? Fuck, no. It was the opposite, which was part of the reason I’d ended it with her. She didn’t think she was my type. Shit, my type before her had been anyone willing. That was the extent of it.

  I’d never met anyone like her. I’d taken one look at Lila and she’d knocked me on my ass. I’d wanted her from the second I’d laid eyes on her. I didn’t know where she was getting all this bullshit from, and I wanted to force her to listen to me, to believe me.

  I kicked the side of the couch and hissed in pain.

  What was I even doing here? I should have stayed in Black Stone. This was a mistake.

  My phone rang and I snatched it out of my back pocket, checking the screen. My entire body went rock solid.

  I wanted to ignore it, but the asshole would find another way to get to me. He always did.

  I hated that my heart rate accelerated as I answered. “What?”

  “We need to talk,” his hated, familiar voice echoed down the line.

  “So, fucking talk.”

  “Boy, do not test me. After what you did to Trip…”

  “He deserved it. You didn’t see Soph…” Why was I wasting my breath? “It’s done.”

  “He’s your brother.”

  “He’s nothing to me, not anymore. And he didn’t just beat his woman, he screwed over his club. Stones sent me to cut that fucker out, and I was happy to do it. You should be thanking me for leaving him alive.” It had been the worst few months of my damned life, but no way was I sharing that with the old man.

  Silence, just heavy breathing. He was trying to gather his control. If I’d been in front of him, he would have swung at me.

  “We have important shit to discuss. I’m heading your way in a couple weeks, we’ll talk then.”

  He hung up.

  I gripped my phone tight, barely resisting throwing it across the room. I needed a fight, to get back in the ring, and soon. Fucking usually helped when I was like this, but the only woman I wanted hated my guts.

  And after that call, I was positive I’d done the right thing letting her go.

  I leaned against the window frame, taking in the street below, and tried to pull my shit together.

  The door to The Mule opened across the street and I hissed out a breath as Lila and Trix walked out. Okay, so the universe was obviously just gonna keep punching me in the balls. Awesome. Trix gave Lila a hug and climbed into her beat-up Toyota. She drove off, leaving Lila alone by her car. Lila wore a fitted coat that hugged her curves. Her legs were bare, and I’d bet my bike she was wearing one of those sexy skirts that hugged her ass underneath.

  She adjusted her glasses and licked her lip, the hot-as-fuck, pouty lower one. Though I had a serious fondness for the top one as well. I’d spent a lot of time worshipping that perfect mouth. Any chance I could get her alone, I’d claimed those lips.

  My dick started to throb.

  I imagined sucking, licking her soft lips while I fucked her. Then imagined her on her knees, sliding my cock between those cherry lips, watching them spread wide around me.

  Christ, I’d had her mouth on me the night she came to see me, and I couldn’t even remember it. That was some serious torture right there.

  She stopped suddenly and took her phone out of her purse, putting it to her ear. She smiled, her pretty mouth moving as she talked. My cock pulsed harder, my balls drawing tight.

  It was messed up, sleazy, but I shoved my sweatpants down and freed my hard cock, wrapping my fingers around it, and squeezed. Yeah, I was a twisted asshole, but I needed it, needed this release before I lost my mind.

  My gaze slid up her exposed throat, smooth and pale, and just that did it for me. Lila’s throat turned me on more than all the bare tits and ass I could get my hands on. While I’d been away, I’d had beautiful women hot for me, offer themselves to me, ready to do whatever dirty shit I was into, and I’d turned them all down. I didn’t want anything they had to give me.

  Now I was standing at a window stroking my cock while I imagined kissing and sucking Lila’s throat and I didn’t think I’d ever been this turned on, this hard, in my life.

  She threw her head back and laughed, and I swallowed, loud in my silent apa
rtment. I jerked it faster, harder. Pre-come leaked from the head, coating my fingers, and I groaned as she tucked her hair behind her ear, showing me more of her throat, a little peek of her delicate earlobe.

  She bit her lower lip, then licked it, and I leaned my shoulder against the window frame before my legs gave out and gripped my nuts with the other, squeezing and tugging on them.

  Her eyes lifted suddenly, and she stilled.

  She could see me.

  My dick was below the window and I didn’t know how well she could see me with just a small lamp going behind me, but she stood there frozen, staring back at me. Having her eyes on me was too much, and my hips snapped forward.

  I bit back a rough sound and started coming hard.

  I was still coming when she looked away, when she took that beautiful gaze away from me. The loss hit me so deep, I actually whimpered.

  She got in her car and a moment later she was gone.

  I stood there for a while longer, breathing hard.

  And despite just blowing my load, I was still amped up. On edge. I needed to get out of this apartment. Because as hard as I’d come, I didn’t feel satisfied. Hollow was a better word. With Lila gone, I kind of felt like shit. Nothing new there.

  My father’s voice echoed in my head again, and I paced to the other side of the apartment, cleaned up, then changed into shorts and sneakers. I needed to run.

  Cold air hit my bare chest when I jogged out onto the street, soaking into my skin, into my bones. I pushed on until the cool early winter air whipped over my sweat-slicked skin. I don’t know how long I ran for. My muscles were aching, my calves and thighs burning in a way that I liked when I worked out hard.

  I turned the corner, still a few streets from home.

  A guy walked out of a house just ahead.

  Brooks.

  Fucking Prick.

  For a moment, I assumed it was Lila’s place, until a chick in a robe followed him onto the porch. A woman who was not Lila. Brooks had just fucked her. The tousled hair and swollen lips were a dead giveaway, and when Brooks pulled her close, giving her a deep kiss before patting her on the ass and heading for his truck, I was in no doubt.